OPINION

Letter: Offers a few definitions for 'Pandemic Glossary'

Kent Weeklies
Letters to the editor

Commute: This referred to either the act of traveling to and from work, or that travel itself. People used to work somewhere that was not their home. Ever notice all those big buildings that aren’t houses? People used to work there.

Eating out: The act of going to a restaurant and eating at that restaurant, along with numerous other people "at the same time". Once a highly anticipated, relaxing, and fun activity, it is now on par with going on a clandestine military mission.

Face-to-face: Meeting with another person directly with no concern for masks and no regard for social distancing.

Haircut: Personal grooming task previously done by a professional on a periodic basis in exchange for money. Now, it’s done by someone in your family who has no formal training in hair styling or the use of scissors. Alternatively, you’re letting your hair grow freely, like an overgrown weed patch.

Handshake: A customary greeting where two people grabbed each other’s hands and supposedly made sure that no one was carrying a weapon. Typically done by males and used to determine who was the alpha/jerk/president, as evidenced by the strength and ferocity of the shaking.

Office: A mythical place of work that was not the home. Here, people mingled with wild abandon while making mission critical spreadsheets and presentations which often turned out to be completely useless; also, the place of mostly inappropriate gossip.

Outdoors: The opposite of indoors - DUH. For a long time, the outdoors were mostly a refuge for granola-eating nature aficionados. For others, it was a place that was begrudgingly tolerated as they went from one indoor location to another. Now, the outdoors are a welcome respite from our indoor prisons. People who once wouldn’t be caught dead outdoors have become experts on hiking, spelunking, etc. - or so they annoyingly claim to the rest of us who actually are experts.

Kesavan Srinivasan, Hudson